Reblogged from rexidot

apodemusalba:

segamascot:

medranochav:

mrs-milano:

reallyndacarter:

tattooedzombigirl:

theman:

beardedmrbean:

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

I would enjoy some good luck from the potato.

It fixed my car last time 🥰

and so it is

and so it is

WORKED FOR ME!!!

Reblogged from narwhalsarefalling

doozclops:

Unfriendly reminder that all you idiots being like “yeah just pirate media now, fuck corporations!” posting links and just openly telling people where to download pirated media are why it’s so hard to find safe, working sites for it anymore.

I’ve been doing this shit for over 20 years and the availability has gone down as it’s become more mainstream. The more you publicly talk about all these sites the less there are. Shut up. Tell people in private or don’t tell them at all.

Reblogged from narwhalsarefalling

treeembrace:

I almost never posted when I used reddit. I left comments maybe once every few weeks. But here on Tumblr I feel like I need to be posting something. I know I don’t really, but I’ve got 5 followers for some reason. I have a responsibility now. I wasn’t ready to have kids, but here they are, all 5 of them, and I need to keep them fed. Here, my children, have a meager text post.

I am rewarded for my efforts with a little pop up that says some people reblogged my post. Once again, I cannot imagine why they would do that, but here we are. Back in the reddit lands, there were no tantalizing little notifications for upvotes. There was a little ticker for people to click, but that’s passive. I got over a thousand upvotes once and I said “neat.” But here on Tumblr, these interactions are active. If I get reblogged, it’s not just a passing bit of reassurance. It’s someone actually taking the garbage I just spewed out and sticking it up on the fridge for everyone to see.

I’m up on the fridges of like 10 strangers. And I want more.

Reblogged from modmad

ralfmaximus:

jtightpants:

Reblog to come play this stupid homemade board game we’re all making.

Reblogged from galoosreblogger

headinthegrave:

nessa007:

✌🏻😊✌🏻

Reblogged from handageddon

tricktster:

around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.

so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep

he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.

every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.

He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.

then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”

you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.

Reblogged from fangs-poetry-blog

insanitysscribblings:

asterosian:

Do y’all know where the phrase “eat the rich” comes from or do you just repeat it cause you heard it elsewhere?

It’s not a bad thing, I just saw someone say “we never said who would eat the rich” and realized a lot of y’all might not have heard the full quote

It’s from Rousseau and it’s “When the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich"

And, well, there’s a lot of people with nothing to eat…

The poor cried,

“We are starving. There is no more bread, and we have nothing to eat.”

The rich man said,

“Not my problem you don’t work for your bread,”

as if he did not snatch away the grain by his own greedy hands and create filling bread for his own overflowing mouth.

The poor cried,

“We are dying. There is no more medicine, and we’re all ill.”

The rich man said,

“Not my problem you don’t take care of yourselves,”

as if he did not buy all the medicine and raise prices so high

the gods themselves would not

be able to reach.

The poor people

stopped crying,

and the rich man was satisfied…

Until they came knocking at his door one night;

their faces were sunken,

their flesh decaying,

their eyes sightless.

They were monsters

of the rich man’s

own making.

As they devoured his flesh,

the rich man cried,

“Please, spare me!”

The ravenous zombies said,

“Not our fault

you fattened yourself

for slaughter.”